They Need Each Other
by MsDaHedgehog
Summary: Initially set after Audrey's death but will span further on. Ressler isn't coping with the death of Audrey. Keen, not only being his colleague and partner but his friend, comforts him in his hour of need. It time, he returns the favor when she needs him. Please review!
1. Chapter 1

He was late. It was unlike him but no one questioned it. Under current circumstances, punctuality was the last thing expected of him. In all fairness, he wasn't technically supposed to be working; he had a week's compassionate leave, but he just couldn't sit in the lonely apartment, surrounded by all her things anymore. No, he needed to keep his mind occupied, keep distracted, and the one place he could fully achieve that? Work. Or so he thought.

As soon as Ressler stepped off the elevator, he could feel everyone's eyes on him. Sympathy, pity and concern laced stares bore into him as he made his way through the Post Office. Ressler hated it, it made him appear weak, vulnerable and he didn't want his colleagues to view him in that way. The usual minute walk to his shared office took nearly ten; people stopping, shaking his hands or touching his arm offering their condolences. He was fast regretting his decision to come into work. They were suffocating him with their worry and kindness. But the thing that was getting to him the most and making this unbearable? The concerned stare coming from the one person that had yet to come over to him, his partner – Elizabeth Keen.

As he sat down at his desk, he knew it was only a matter of time before she made her way to him; after all, this was her office to. It took her longer than he expected for her to get to him, but when she walked into the office and put a steaming mug of coffee on the desk in front of him, he understood why.

"Thanks, Keen." Ressler muttered as he gratefully took the mug and sipped its scolding contents.

"You're welcome." Keen replied, as she headed to her desk, away from the door she had just closed.

He refused to look up at her, needed to avoid her gaze, because he knew as soon as he made eye contact with her, he'd crumble. She'd seen him cry once already and he didn't want that happening again. Ressler tried to pretend he couldn't feel her gaze and busied himself with finding paperwork he could do. He would admit later that he had failed miserably at ignoring his partner's watchful eye.

"If you've got something to say, say it Keen, if not, stop bloody staring at me, its unsettling."

"You shouldn't be here, Ressler. You should be at home. No one expects you to be working, not now. You didn't want to be here the moment you walked in, don't put yourself through this."

"How could you possibly know that I didn't want to be here? Yes, I have the time off, but in case you haven't noticed, I _chose_ to be here today." Dammit. She was good. He may have disliked her in the beginning but the months since her first day have become easy, even enjoyable, what with her ability to read people and the fact she was a damn good agent.

"You forget, I'm a profiler, it's my job. You don't want to be here. I watched you walk out that elevator and stiffen up. You were uncomfortable, still are, because you know the moment you leave this office people will be offering support to you again and you can't stand that. What I don't know and understand is why you're willingly putting yourself through this? You need time. You need to go home."

Ressler, dropping the pen he was holding, finally looked at his partner and she could now see how close he was to breaking. Trembling slightly, he pushed himself away from his desk and walked towards the window to close the blinds so if he does indeed crumble, none of his other colleagues would see.

"You really don't get it do you, Liz?" He turned to her and stared into her bright eyes. He could see her register the use of her first name, which was unusual for him. There had only ever been a handful of occasions where they had used first names, all of which had occurred after a life threatening situation. "I _can't_ be at home. She moved in, was in the process of finishing moving her stuff before I dragged her out of there with the intention of keeping her safe. Every time I'm in that apartment, I see her. I'm constantly surrounded by her things and I don't think I can stand it anymore. This is my only escape… Well this or I hit the bottle."

He looked away, couldn't look at her anymore. No one knew what he had just told her. No one knew how far he and Audrey had gotten into their rekindled relationship in the three short months they had gotten together. He could hear Keen as she moved behind him, moved towards him. His breath caught in his throat as he felt her touch his arm to try and turn him round and to his surprise, he turned willingly.

They stood there locked in one another's gaze for what felt like a lifetime. He noticed how Liz's eyes glistened as they slowly filled with silent tears but he didn't have the energy to pull his own away from hers. Together they stood there, Liz silently comforting her partner whilst his walls came down. It was only after his tears started flowing freely that she spoke.

"Ressler… Don… I'm so sorry. I'm not going to pretend that I know exactly what you're going through because I don't. I can't imagine exactly how you must be feeling. But I do know the pain of losing someone you love. I know losing my father isn't the same as you losing Audrey but grief is grief, Don. Having my fathers' things around me helped, I think, because it felt like he was still close, like he wasn't completely gone. Having some of her things around you might help. Eventually you _will_ find the strength to cope with going through her things, but for now, just let them comfort you. Remember her, keep her spirit close and find your own pace of letting go, don't force it."

He had closed his eyes whilst she had spoken softly to him. She still had her hand resting on his arm and knowing that she truly cared for him was comforting. It took a few minutes but when he finally reopened his eyes, he managed a faint resemblance of a smile towards his partner.

"Thank you, Liz. I needed that." Ressler pushed himself away from the wall and used his hands to wipe the tears and their tracks from his face, unintentionally forcing Liz's hand to leave his arm. "I think I understand what you're saying, I just –"

A knock on the office door stopped him in his tracks. Dread washed over him as he contemplated who was about to open the door and see him in such a state. To his surprise, however, whoever was at the door didn't barge in; instead, they called through to let them know Liz was needed.

"Agent Keen?" Meera called through the door. "Cooper wants us for a debriefing in five minutes. He wants your report on… the latest case."

"Okay, thanks, Meera. I'll be ready in a few."

Liz gave Ressler the once over. His head was bowed and he now had a sombre look upon his face. She reckoned he had a very clear idea on exactly what report Cooper wanted. She walked to her desk to gather what she needed for the debriefing.

"Don, I –"

"You don't have to explain yourself. I broke the rules, I went against regulations. It's your job, Liz. You have to do what's right, I'm not going to blame you for that, so don't feel bad for anything you've put in that report okay?" She nodded to him but she still looked guilty as hell. Ressler felt sorry for her, he had acted out of order that day and she had to write him up but he didn't resent her, if he remembered correctly, he'd done a very similar thing to her a good few months back.

"I need to head down, and I don't really want to see you here when I get back but I won't try and force you. Just think about what I said. Time is everything." With that, she left the room, closing the door behind her. It wasn't long after she left that Ressler decided that she was right, he shouldn't be here, he didn't need to be. He grabbed his keys and slipped out of the office, not before leaving Liz a note.

* * *

><p>She'd been in with Cooper for over an hour, defending Resslers name. It had worked, but she didn't need to try particularly hard – no one blamed Donald Ressler for his actions. On her way back to her office she wondered if he would still be there, she stood by what she'd said to him earlier, but she also wanted to be near him to make sure he was alright. It would seem that the Agent had listened to her after all, judging by the note left on her desk.<p>

_**Liz, I thought about what you said and you're right. I shouldn't be throwing myself back into work so soon, I need to grieve and that's what I plan on doing. I think I might ask Cooper to extend the leave; I should go and see Audrey's family, spend some time with them. Thank you for today, it means a lot. Don.**_

She couldn't help but smile to herself. At least he was giving himself time. As she sat there, she looked around the room they shared, even though it had only been an hour since she saw him, she realised she missed him. Liz couldn't figure out whether she missed him because she knew she wouldn't be seeing him for a while, or whether she missed him because, well, she missed _him_. She decided to settle on the former, even though in her mind she was mentally slapping herself. Liz contemplated all that had gone on in the last few days, the struggle Ressler must be going through. She knew he felt guilty for not being able to keep Audrey safe, knew that he blamed himself because if it wasn't for his job, she would have been out of danger, safe and sound. For the first time in months, Liz's sole focus wasn't her own problems, they were now Resslers.

* * *

><p>Ressler had been sitting in his car outside his apartment for nearly two hours. He'd left the Post Office determined to face being around Audrey's things but as he parked and looked towards his building, he had felt his chest constrict and he could barely breathe. He tried to think back to what Liz had said to him but he couldn't, all he could think of was Audrey. Everything they could have had, could have been, if only he'd been able to keep her safe…<p>

The two hours he'd been there was as long as it had taken him to regain control. He didn't feel better per se, after his little break down, but he had felt stronger, felt that he had the ability to face his demons. Ressler unlocked his apartment slowly, taking deep breaths to keep control of himself as he entered his once happy home. He managed until he hit the couch, where lying in front of it on the coffee table was a small, open suitcase full of some of her more personal things. It felt like an eternity before he walked to the kitchen – there were none of her things in there. Tears were once again flowing freely down his face and he knew it was only a matter of time before he broke completely. Five bottles of beer and two tumblers of whiskey later he made his way back to his living room, accidentally knocking into Audrey's suitcase and knocking it off the table as he went. Closing his eyes and bracing himself, he crouched down slowly to retrieve the fallen items. A pink box caught his eye and as he lifted it he realised what it was, and the fact that it was empty. Was she? Had she been? He carelessly sorted through the rest of her things before stumbling towards the bathroom, digging through the bin in there but coming up empty. Realising that she wouldn't have thrown it if it meant something, and that she wouldn't have kept it if it didn't, he almost ran to the bedroom and threw her things out of the draws he had cleared for her. Ressler only made it through one draw before he found it. There, the thin white stick held one word. _Pregnant_.

"No. God, please no… No…" As he walked out of the room, Ressler punched the bedroom door with such force; he put a fist sized hole through it. He found himself back in the kitchen, downing half a bottle of God knows what from the cupboard. Slumping against the wall, he slowly slipped down it, steadily losing consciousness as his drunken state took over him. Within seconds, Ressler had passed out, the half-drunk bottle of alcohol in one hand, and clutching the pregnancy test in the other.


	2. Chapter 2

Liz was absentmindedly doodling on a spare sheet of paper on her desk. Aside from the meeting with Cooper early that morning, she hadn't had reason to leave her office (other than for coffee runs and bathroom breaks). In the six hours she'd been at the Post Office, she had rearranged the filing cabinets in her office, cleaned both hers and Resslers desks, completed all her backlogged paperwork _and_ even finished some of her partners so that all the files needed now were his signature. She was bored but she didn't want to go hunting for a case, so she just sat there wondering how Ressler was holding up. She had wanted to call and check on him but decided against it; she didn't want to seem suffocating. The argument she had been having for the last twenty minutes was whether or not to send him a simple text. She was still debating when her phone started ringing in her hand, stating that 'Nick's Pizza Place' was calling.

"Keen."

"_Hello, Lizzie. How are you?_"

"Red. I'm fine. Do you have another name on the blacklist? Is that why you're calling?" There was an almost pleading tone to her voice that she couldn't get rid of. The man had a truly unbelievable talent for drawing conclusions from a simple word or phrase, especially from her. He would have a field day knowing that she was craving the next name on his stupid blacklist, though she would never admit that to him if he ever asked.

"_My dear Elizabeth, you sound almost desperate._" Dammit, she was so close to getting away with that. "_I'm afraid I won't be handing one of my enemies over to you today, disappointing I know; now we won't have the delightful opportunity of spending the remainder of the afternoon together. I'm actually calling to inquire about Agent Ressler. How is poor Donald holding up?_"

Ressler? Raymond Reddington was openly asking about Donald Resslers wellbeing like they're old friends. That's… new. "He's… he wasn't doing too well this morning. He came into work but he didn't cope well with everyone coming up to him, so I tried to convince him to go home. It worked, and I didn't even have to threaten him."

"_Grief is one of the worst things to overcome a person. He did the right thing by going home. Donald will one day look back to this and be grateful for those who were there for him at his darkest hour._"

"I know. But I'm worried about him. I know him, and he was so different this morning, it was far too easy to get through to him… he didn't really try to fight me on it."

"_Give him time Lizzie, he'll need your support over the coming weeks, just make sure he knows he can count on you. I really must be going now; Dembe and I are off to Costa Rica for business. See you when we get back. Ciao._"

The lines dead before she can utter another word. What business could he possibly have in Costa Rica? Scrap that thought, it was better if she didn't know about Reddingtons day to day dealings. Speaking to Red had cleared up one thing for her though, she should send a message to Ressler; let him know she's here for him if he needs it.

_**Hey, just wanted to check how you were doing? I didn't say this earlier, but I'm here if you need me, day or night, don't hesitate to call, okay? X**_

Oh... well that was unintentional. Liz wasn't one for putting kisses at the end of messages; it was very rare if she did it with Tom, he was very lucky if he ever got an 'x' at the end of her messages. Oh well, too late now, he probably wouldn't even notice.

Liz sighed as she pushed herself up from her desk and left the office. Spotting Meera and Aram, she headed over to see if they to, were as bored as her.

* * *

><p>There was a defiant pounding in his head that was determined to cause him as much pain as humanly possible. Ressler reluctantly opened his eyes and was momentarily confused by his surroundings. '<em>Where am I?<em>' he manages to think over the deafening beat of a drum that was threatening to crack through his skull. Becoming steadily aware of himself, he could hear the constant hum of the refrigerator and he recognised he was lying, partially conscious, on his kitchen floor. Closing his eyes again, he breathed in a deep breath and braced himself before hauling his body into a standing position, swaying dangerously as he let go of the countertop. Eyes slipping out of focus, he barely made it to the sink before violently throwing up the sparse contents of his stomach.

It took him a mere two minutes to empty his stomach, but he was left retching considerably longer. Running the water to wash away the foul, alcohol infused stench that was his vomit, he leaned back, trying to remember what had happened before he passed out. It wasn't until a second wave of nausea passed over him that he noticed the throbbing pain in his right hand. Bruised and covered in dried blood, he tried to recall how his hand had gotten so banged up.

"How the – oh, right, punched the bedroom door." The hazy memory was steadily becoming clearer and as he remembered the feeling of the wood splintering beneath his fist, his knuckles started to tingle painfully.

Thinking it was too late to doing anything about his hand now; Ressler turned off the tap and moved to the refrigerator, pulled a bottle of water out and downed it, hoping to replace the lost fluids and tone down the thumping in his head. He looked around the kitchen to assess if he'd caused any damage in here to, but didn't find anything. He eyed the half empty bottle of alcohol on the floor, bending down to retrieve it after a minute.

"Well, that explains the headache and the passing out." He regretted saying the word 'headache' as soon as he'd said it, because once it was voiced, the pounding became more prominent. His hands flew up and he pushed them harshly against his head, willing the pain to evaporate. He knew painkillers was the only way to get rid of it without having to suffer for too long, but he'd been drinking and wasn't sure how long it had been since his last drink. Looking over to the small window, he could see the deep darkness of the sky; it had been bright out when he had gotten home around midday, but judging by the lack of traffic noise outside, he guessed it was now the early hours of the morning. So that was what, over twelve hours ago now? It seemed like plenty of time and as he moved with the intention of heading to the bathroom for some pills, he spotted the thin white stick his mind had been trying so hard to avoid.

Ressler expected tears to fall but they just didn't come. He bent down and picked the test up but didn't look directly at it; instead, he walked to the living room with it in his hand. Anger washed over him as he studied his girlfriend's things carelessly thrown across the room. Had he done this? Had he handled her belongings like thrash? He vaguely remembered throwing her things around in search for the thing that he now held in his hand. Hating himself even more now for what he had done, he threw the test at the wall opposite him and forgetting all the pain his body was in, he grabbed his keys and jacket before leaving the apartment.

He wasn't heading anywhere in particular, but he wanted to go back to not remembering. As he searched the streets looking for somewhere to buy a good few bottles of scotch, he realised he was right in thinking that it was the early hours of the morning. Nowhere would be open at this time and he had perfectly good alcohol at his apartment only he didn't want to go back there. Keen had been wrong. She told him having Audrey's things around would help him, but she was wrong, they didn't help him, they made things worse. Why did he listen to her? Why didn't he just carry on with handling it the way he was – avoiding her things and avoiding his home. He didn't know how long he had been walking, nor the direction he took, all he knew that he wanted a drink. There was only one other place he could think of that didn't involve going home – work.

Altering his route, he walked for another half an hour before approaching the Post Office. Luckily he still had his badge and I.D stuffed in his jacket pocket and once he presented them to the guards at the gates, he made his way to the elevator. Liz's words to him were replaying over and over in his mind as the elevator moved him to his floor. He was blaming her and he knew how absurd that was because this wasn't her fault. Him being at the Post Office in the middle of the night was in no way her fault but he reasoned with himself that if he'd never listened to her, if he hadn't have gone home, he wouldn't have found the test. He wouldn't have had his heart ripped apart again as he thought of not only losing Audrey but their unborn child as well. His feet had carried him into his office without him really registering, and in no time he was sitting at his desk, whiskey in front of him and a glass full of the amber liquid in his hand.

The more alcohol he consumed, the number he felt. He could no longer feel the pain in his hand, the pounding in his head. His body no longer ached from spending hours lying on the cold kitchen floor. He didn't notice that the building was filling with his fellow agents and he certainly didn't notice that Cooper was making his way past. The blinds were still partially closed from yesterday but he was able to peer through them when he finally started to hear people. "Shit." He muttered to himself as he realised there was no way for him to sneak out now. Worse still was that now Keen would find him in their office, drinking his sorrows away, and that was the last thing he needed. He could pretend and tell her he left something behind yesterday and he simply came in to pick it up but he knew instantly that wasn't going to work – she would be able to tell he was drunk from a mile off. Sighing to himself, he sat back down at his desk and poured another generous amount of whiskey into his glass and it was at that point his partner walked into the room.

"Ressler?"

Ressler looked up to acknowledge his partner before returning his gaze to his drink, downing it the next second. Liz hurriedly shut the door and closed the blinds properly, so they were completely hidden from view.

"Ressler, what are you doing here, and how much of that have you had?"

He didn't look back at her and took his time responding. He didn't want to admit that he'd drunk far too much but he knew she could already guess. He didn't want to see the pitiful gaze that she must have had plastered to her face. He finally shrugged his shoulders before answering her question.

"I don't know. Not nearly enough, too much. Pick one."

He heard Liz sigh as she walked to his side and removed the bottle and glass from his reach. He didn't make a move to stop her as she said "I'm going to go with too much, you smell of the stuff. If Cooper finds you you'll be in a hell of a lot of trouble, he'll write you up."

"Don't care. Let him. Don't care for much anymore."

It was at this point that Liz noticed his right hand. "What happened, Ress? Have you cleaned this at all?" She tried to take his hand but he snatched it away. He didn't want comfort, he wanted her to leave him alone.

"Punched a door…" Was his mumbled response, he didn't really want to lie to her, but he neglected to tell her _why_ he'd punched the door.

"Ressler, you should have called me. I told you I was here for you and I meant it. Instead of hitting the bottle you should have called me and we could have talked."

Now he was confused. "When did you say that? I don't remember that."

"I'm surprised if you can remember anything with the amount of alcohol in your system. I texted you yesterday afternoon a few hours after you went home but I never got a reply."

He checked in his pockets for his phone but he couldn't find it. Must have left it in his apartment. "Sorry," he mumbled. "Didn't know."

"It's fine, don't worry about it, you know now. Why don't you go home? You can't be here."

Oh dear, she'd advised him to go home again. Anger was starting to boil in his veins and he couldn't control it. He willed himself not to shout at Liz, to ignore what she'd said and just leave. But he couldn't. He needed her to know why it was so wrong for him to be at home right now, why her advice yesterday was so terribly wrong but he couldn't bring himself to say it. Instead he stood from his chair, turned round and punched the wall in front of him.

"Ressler!"

If their colleagues weren't aware that Ressler was in the building they would be now. Liz was rooted to the spot trying to grasp what had just happened. "Ressler, what the hell. Just listen to me, go –"

"Don't you _dare_ tell me to listen to you, Keen." He shouted at her. "I did that yesterday and guess what? I'm worse off today than I was then. Just keep out my damn business and leave me alone."

He regretted what he'd said instantly. He knew she was only trying to help. It was evident when he looked into her eyes how much he'd just hurt her. He wanted to walk over, take her in his arms and tell her he was sorry but he couldn't. He needed to get away, get away from her, from here. Taking one last look at her he bolted from the room and ran straight for the elevator, crashing into people as he went. He was aware of her calling him but he didn't slow down or look back.

"Ressler! Wait, Ress. Stop. RESSLER!" She made it to the elevator just as the doors closed, obscuring him from view.


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: I'm aware that the timeline/ characters are going to be out of place but hell, its fanfiction, go with it :) Thank you to those who've liked/reviewed/followed, it#s much appreciated :) xoxo**_

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><p>Liz stood staring at the now closed elevator doors. She was shocked to say the least, in the year they had been working together, never had she seen him acting like that. She had been hurt when he shouted at her, she'd been trying to help him and she hated the thought of her making things worse so she didn't question him at the time. It was obvious to her that Ressler hadn't meant what he said, regret was clear in his eyes as he looked at her and knowing everything he's been going through, she didn't blame him for his outburst. She just wanted to help her partner, but if giving him space is what he needed to get him through this, then that's what she would give him. She turned round to head back to her office but found her path blocked by both Meera and Aram.<p>

"Agent Keen, what just happened? Where's Agent Ressler gone?" Aram had always been a little shy and timid around Ressler, but he also looked up to the man. They had worked together longer than what Liz had and there was no doubt in her mind that Aram was just as concerned as she was. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she forgot to answer and it wasn't until Meera called her name and her sharp British accent cut through her that she snapped back to her senses.

"Liz?"

"I don't know. I hope he heads home but from what he said, that's highly unlikely. Aram, can you track his cell? I'm not going to go chasing after him, he needs his space but I want to know that he's okay."

"I can do that, Agent Keen. Does he have his cell on him now?"

"Good… Shit, no he doesn't. Track it to where it is now and just let me know if the signal moves, it's the best we can do."

"Liz, Aram, we've got to keep this from Cooper, if he finds out –"

"Agent Keen!" Oh shit, this wasn't going to be good. Assistant Director Cooper was standing outside his office glaring down at them all. Evidently word had already gotten out about Ressler and all she could do now was to keep as much of the truth from her boss as possible.

She turned to look at Cooper and kept her face as expressionless as possible. "Yes Sir?"

"What the hell is going on down there?"

Everyone on the floor had stopped what they were doing and were now looking between Cooper and Keen. Those who had worked closely with Ressler over the years and those who were in the forest with him and Bobby Jonica looked nervous, unsure of what Liz would say. Those who hadn't personally worked with him just looked curious, it was probably one of them that ratted Ressler out, Liz thought bitterly.

Deciding it was best to just lie through her teeth, Liz spoke even though her voice didn't have much conviction to it.

"Agent Ressler left something in the office and came back to get it, but he was feeling unwell so I sent him home. You know what Resslers like, refusing to let up so we got into a little argument, nothing major. Once I convinced him that he would be better off elsewhere, he was simply rushing out because he didn't want everyone else catching whatever it is he has." She knew it was pathetic, everybody who heard knew it was pathetic but she could see smiles on many of the Agents faces – you protect your own when then the time comes. Cooper saw straight through it but what was she supposed to say, 'sorry, Sir, but Resslers pissed out his head and made a scene in our office, now he's bolted and I don't know where he is'? She wasn't going to rat Ressler out when he's not himself, not if she could help it anyway. It wasn't right and she would be betraying him if she did. Looking Cooper square in the face, she could have sworn she saw the faintest hint of a knowing smile before he shouted down to her.

"My office now, Agent Keen, and the rest of you, get back to work." He turned and marched back into his office, leaving the door open for Liz.

She looked round to Meera and Aram, who had moved back to the technician's computer. "Keep me posted." She shot at them as she headed for the stairs. She braced herself before stepping in Cooper's office and closed the door.

"What happened out there, Keen?"

"I told you, Sir, Ressler is –"

"Cut the crap, Keen. I got a report of one of my Agents shouting and possibly violent and another running after him, so don't give me any bullshit. This stays off the record, anything you say to me now will never be repeated. Do I make myself clear?"

"He's my partner, Sir, I won't compromise him."

"I understand that, Keen, I really do, but I have to know. So, please, take a seat and tell me what happened."

Cooper was being… kind. It was unusual but Liz felt that he was being sincere when he said he wouldn't repeat anything she tells him. Sighing, Liz sat down and prepared to start.

"Ressler, he's… not coping. Yesterday he was determined to work even though he's not emotionally ready and he broke down before I could get through to him that he shouldn't be here. Today I came in and found him in our office, drunk and still drinking. The bottle was almost empty and I know it was full when I last saw it so he'd been in there a while. Whoever gave you the report was wrong, he wasn't violent. Like I said, we had an argument when I tried to send him home again. Sir, he's going through a really bad time at the moment and I don't want any of this used against him. I'm his partner, his friend; I have to protect him as much as I can."

"Elizabeth." The use of her full first name stuns her. No one ever calls her 'Elizabeth', only when she was in trouble was she called that. But this didn't feel like one of those moments. Coopers voice was soft, caring and almost delicate. Maybe he really did have the intention of not letting any of this leak out. "I in no way intend of using any of this against him, I want to help him through this. However, if I'm going to be able to do that then I need to be made aware of what is going on with one of my best Agents. I understand why you attempted to lie to protect him and I admire how strong your relationship with him is. I can only hope that one day you, or anyone, would do the same for me. If Diane or anyone over our heads were here to witness that when it happened I would have been forced by them to fire him on the spot and I refuse to do that if I can avoid it. Just beware, if word of this somehow gets back to Diane and –"

"Sir, I've already defended Donald Resslers name once this week and I will do it again in a heartbeat if I have to. What I've told you stays off the record and I'm sticking to my original story; Resslers ill and I forced him home."

Liz stared at Cooper as he observed her. She knew both his relationships with Ressler were battling it out in true good cop bad cop fashion – the boss knows he should act but the friend in him was telling him to leave it. "I expect no less from you. I'm glad I assigned you two as partners. I stand by what I said; I don't think I've ever seen two people who have each other's backs as much as you. Keep an eye on him and the moment something happens that I _need_ to be informed of, do , get back to work, Keen. That's an order."

Liz exited the office and as soon as the door closed behind her, she leaned her head against the wall and exhaled loudly. She'd barely been in work half an hour and she already felt exhausted. Liz stayed against the wall for another minute before moving back downstairs to see if Aram had an update for her.

"Hey," she called to Meera. "Where's Aram?"

"Bathroom, that boy drinks far too much." The two women exchanged a small smile before Meera answered Liz's unasked question. "There's been no movement. How was it in there with Cooper?"

Sighing, Liz relayed her conversation with Cooper. "I had to tell him, I didn't want to but Cooper only wants to help Ressler so I decided it was for the best. He's promised to keep it quiet and try and keep what happened today from Diane and the rest of the board. He wants to be kept in the loop on a need to know basis. So if Ressler does something… stupid, we decide whether he's informed or not. It's not what I expected from him, I thought he was going to be difficult and demand I file a report. He's just going to pretend none of this happened."

Liz can't help but smile at Meera's expression; a mixture of awe and pure shock outlined her face.

"Wow… Cooper's going soft in his old age. Though, he thinks quite highly of Ressler; yesterday he wouldn't let a bad word be said about him. Liz, do you have any idea what Ressler's going to do?"

Liz considered the question for a minute. She thought back to the note Ressler had left for her yesterday, though she wasn't now sure if he had been serious.

"He mentioned that he was going to ask Cooper to extend his leave, something about wanting to go and visit Audreys family. Don't think he's done that yet, well, Cooper didn't mention it anyway. I'm not sure if he really planned on doing anything else."

"It's to be expected, after everything. Hey, do you fancy going out to lunch today? We can invite Aram as well." Meera sounded hopeful, with their heavy caseloads they rarely got to eat out and with nothing going on they might as well take advantage.

"Sounds good. I'm going to go finish some reports. You speak to Aram and I'll come down in a couple of hours so we can go."

Liz strolled back to her office knowing full well she didn't have any reports to finish, having done them all the day before, she just wanted some time to think.

* * *

><p>Ressler all but sprinted the five blocks away from the blacksite before he deemed it safe enough to hail a taxi. He couldn't get the look of hurt on Keens face out of his head. What the hell was wrong with him? The woman had tried to help him, tried to be there and comfort him and he'd snapped, shouted and pushed her away, and the whole ride down on the elevator he had realised that he needed her. Oh, he wouldn't admit that to anyone else, but he admitted it to himself now. She had done everything she was supposed to do as his partner and more. She was more than his partner, she was his friend and he'd treated her like dirt. Where the hell did he get off doing that? He wanted to apologise but he couldn't bring himself to do it.<p>

It wasn't until the driver pulled up outside his apartment building that he realised he must of given him his address. He was trying to avoid this place yet his subconscious was taking him there. 'What does that tell you Donald? Oh yeah! Keen was right, you need to be here.' Paying for his ride, Ressler stepped out and headed towards his apartment. He hadn't cried since last night and he didn't believe his tears would start up again now. He was standing in his living room staring at Audreys things and all he could feel was anger. Anger towards Mako Tanida who killed his girlfriend, anger towards Booby Jonica who was the reason Tanida came after them and anger towards himself for not being able to protect her. Now he could add being angry at himself for being nasty to Liz to that list to.

Even though it was only early, he decided to go to bed, but not before going to the kitchen and finding his bottle of whiskey. He knew, in the back of his mind that drinking more wasn't the answer but he wanted to become numb again, to forget about Audrey and to forget about Liz. He didn't want to deal with any of it right now.

He was sitting on his bed, gulping down mouthfuls of whiskey until his mind started to go fuzzy again. No matter how hard he tried to forget and no matter how much alcohol he ingested, the images of the woman he loved would never disappear from his mind. Ressler wouldn't know that his partner had dropped by till he woke up the next morning to a note under his door.


	4. Chapter 4

The Post Office was still full of Agents when Cooper ordered Liz, Meera and Aram home for the night. The three had been out for lunch but apart from that, nothing interesting had happened and Liz was glad for the change of scenery. The three of them had reached the car park, bid farewell to each other and made their way to their respective cars. Liz saw both Aram and Meera drive off but she stayed stationary in her car. She stayed sitting there nearly an hour not only thinking about her partner but thinking about her marriage as well. She and Tom barely saw each other as it was yet she was off work far earlier than usual, sitting in her car avoiding home. Things hadn't been the same since Liz found the box full of passports, money and the gun. Even though Tom had been cleared by the bureau months ago, she still couldn't shake the feeling of mistrust from the back of her mind, and Red's constant warnings to be careful of her husband were not helping matters. But it wasn't just the mistrust that was causing a rift between them at the moment. A week ago today was when they were supposed to be welcoming their daughter into their home, but the revelation from Liz the month before had put a stop to that. Liz wanted a baby, she really did but both she and Tom knew that they couldn't commit to a baby when they were barely committing to each other and now the rift was bigger than ever.

She realised now that she had been slowly falling out of love with Tom for a while and as much as she tried to deny it and fight for her marriage, when Tom suggested they needed space, it had been a welcomed relief. The more she thought back to that day, the more she started to think about Ressler and his offer to rough Tom up for her. It had been a shock; she and her partner were not as close as they were now at that point and she couldn't help but inwardly smile at his offer. The memory of that day was quickly followed by many others, all of which involved words of comfort or actions that saved the others' lives. Even though she wanted to go home, take a long, hot bath and relax, the desire to check on Ressler overwhelmed her. Aram had kept an eye out all day but as far as they knew, Ressler hadn't moved and Liz wasn't entirely sure whether that was a good thing or a bad. She knew Tom wouldn't actually be expecting her home anytime soon; she hadn't called and let him know she'd got off early, so she made the last minute decision to take a detour on her way home.

It didn't take Liz long to reach Resslers apartment, she hadn't been there before and didn't know where he lived until she'd sneaked back into the blacksite and looked up his file. An abuse of her position yes, but she wasn't going to get his address another way so she didn't feel bad about snooping. Walking up to the building she tried to work out what she would say to him if he opened the door. She had told herself she wasn't going to go chasing after him but she cared too much for him to let him go through this on his own. In no time she found herself standing outside his front door, knocking and calling his name.

"Ressler? Are you in there?" She repeated the knocking another couple of times before drawing the conclusion that he just was not home, that or he was just point blank ignoring her. She didn't believe he would intentionally ignore her and that was a small comfort to her.

"Don?" She called one last time before pulling her notepad and pen from her bag and writing him a note.

_**Don, I know you're going through a hard time and I know you said you wanted space and I'm sorry if what I've said or done has made things harder for you but I'm worried about you. You're my friend and I want to help you through this if I can and if you'll let me. You don't have to go through this alone and I just want you to talk to me, please. Just… let me know, okay? I don't want things to be difficult between us but if you really don't want my help that's fine, but I **__**will**__** always be here for you x**_

Again with the damn kiss! What was wrong with her? She thought about it for a minute and decided to just leave it. If she crossed it out, it would draw more attention to the fact that it was there. If he just left it, there was a high chance he'd just gloss over it. So she left it, folded the note and shoved it in the minute gap under his door.

As she drove towards her own apartment, her mind still partially focused on Ressler, she pondered whether or not Tom would be home. Part of her didn't want him to be there but she knew they needed to talk. It was clear as drove up their road that Tom wasn't in after all; there were no light coming through the living room window. It wasn't until she went to the kitchen that she found his note scrawled on the back of a take-out menu informing her of his whereabouts.

_**Liz, out for drinks tonight. Don't wait up. T.**_

Sighing with relief, she poured herself a large glass of wine and headed to the bathroom for her long awaited bath.

* * *

><p>He ached. He ached all over and he didn't have the energy to do anything about it. He wasn't sure how long he'd laid there awake but when he finally looked round to his alarm clock it read <em>08.34<em>. Well, that was a surprise; he'd slept the whole night! He'd slept for close to twenty-four hours yet he still felt exhausted and Jesus did his head hurt. He rolled out of bed and headed to use the bathroom. He needed something for the pain in his head but upon searching the bathroom cabinet he discovered that he didn't actually have anything for a headache. "Shit, now what am I supposed to do?" he muttered to himself. He was just about to close the cabinet door when he spotted the small, half full bottle of powerful pain medication he had left over from when he was shot. If he remembered correctly he would have to eat before taking these and they would make him drowsy.

"I only need one… will it really be so bad? I don't exactly have another option." He whispered to his reflection.

Ressler walked to the kitchen with the pill bottle in his hand and made himself some toast. He didn't even bother to butter the slices before ramming them down his throat, barely chewing them in his desperation to line his stomach ready for the meds. Pulling a bottle of water from his refrigerator, he popped a pill into his mouth and swallowed it down with a large gulp of water. He knew he'd have about twenty minutes before the drowsiness started to kick in so he decided to take a shower and clean himself up a bit.

Half an hour later he stepped out the shower and pulled a towel round him. Water was dripping from his hair as he made his way through his apartment and just as he reached the hall closet to get another towel, he spotter a small, yellow, folded piece of paper at the bottom of his front door. He instantly noticed untidy scrawl that belonged to his partner and as he whispered her words out loud, he couldn't help but smile briefly to himself. He had been a right jerk to Liz the day before and she had every right not to want to talk to him but the fact that she had come to his apartment to check up on him made him feel warm inside. He remembered her telling him that she'd texted him and that prompted him to actually _find_ his phone, and find it he did, wedged in between the cushions on his couch. Opening Liz's text, he couldn't help it when the brief smile returned to his lips.

_**Hey, just wanted to check how you were doing? I didn't say this earlier, but I'm here if you need me, day or night, don't hesitate to call, okay? X**_

He truly appreciated now all that Liz had tried to do for him over the last week, and he owed it to her to let her know he was doing okay. Hitting the reply button he typed a message back to her before going to grab some more water.

_**Liz… I'm the one that should be apologising, not you, you've done nothing wrong, you've only tried to help me and I've been an ungrateful dick. The truth is, I'm in a really bad place right now and knowing I've got you to help me through it is keeping me going. I said that I might go and see Audrey's family so I'm going to phone them soon. I promise you that I'll call if I need to. Thanks Keen, I really mean it x**_

Like Liz, the kiss at the end of the message was unintentional but it was too late because he'd already sent it. It was gone nine in the morning so she would already be at work, probably in a debriefing and unable to check her phone. True to his word, once he'd grabbed his water, he settled onto the couch to make the very difficult phone call to Audrey's parents. Dialling the number, he paused before pressing the call button.

It rang four times before there was the unmistakable sound of the handset being picked up

"_Hello?_" It was Ross Bidwell, Audrey's father.

"Mr Bidwell, its Don, Don Ressler. I wasn't sure if it was too early to call but I… I wanted to see how you were?"

"_You have some nerve! How dare you call this house? My daughter is dead, and you ask me how I am?_"

"Mr Bidwell, I –"

"_No, NO!_" Ross screamed. "_Don't you dare! You are the reason my little girl is dead._" Resslers breath caught in his throat as Audrey's fathers words cut through him like a knife. Audrey's family blamed him for her death. He blamed him for her death but everyone who he'd spoken to over the last week told him that it wasn't his fault. Mr Bidwell's words had hurt, but at least he was being honest. "_We thought it was bad enough when she came home and told us she'd left you but I was glad. You were bad for her, disappearing for undercover operations to chase a man you could never catch, leaving her in the lurch and worst of all? Putting the job before her. No, what was worse, was when she came to us three months ago to tell me and her mother that she'd broken off her engagement to a truly wonderful man and gotten back together with you._" The last word was a snarl and Ressler closed his eyes to it.

"Mr Bidwell, please, I'm sorr–" he tried but Ross cut across him.

"_DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME YOU ARE SORRY! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! No father should have to go through the heartbreak of receiving the phone call telling them that their daughter is dead. That wasn't even the worst day of my life, no, that day was the day I buried my little girl and you couldn't even be bothered to turn up._" Ressler froze. "_Tell me Donald, did you love her, did you love my Audrey?_"

"Yes, I did, of cou–"

"_THEN TELL ME WHY YOU MISSED HER FUNERAL? If you loved her you would have been there to say goodbye, you should have been there. If you loved her then it would have been you speaking in front of us, not Robert. No, Robert truly loved my Audrey but you… you didn't. YOU are the reason she's dead. You may not have physically killed her,_" Ressler heard the man's voice falter. "_But you… you as good as pulled the trigger to the gun that did. I never want to hear your voice again, do you hear me? I NEVER WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN!_"

The line went dead before he had a chance to respond. Try as he might, he could not stem the fast flowing tears that were falling into his lap. Bidwell's words just reaffirmed what he'd been thinking; he _had_ been responsible. His head was no longer working and the drowsiness was pulling at him and he didn't think he could keep awake any longer. He was right, no sooner had he collapsed on his bed he was pulled into a deep slumber once again.

* * *

><p>Liz and the team were in the middle of a personnel meeting when her phone beeped loudly. She reached for it automatically, and once she knew it was from Ressler, she opened the message, well aware that all faces were now on her. A full blown smile lit her face as she read his message.<p>

"Agent Keen, care to share with the rest of us what's made you so happy this morning?" Cooper's voice snapped through her.

"Just been updated on a close friend. Everything's fine and I don't need to worry." She smiled at Cooper. She knew he would guess exactly who had just contacted her and that was confirmed when he smiled back at her.

"Good. That's good. Now, let's continue shall we?"

* * *

><p>"<em>Audrey… stay with me sweetie, stay with me.<em>

_Please stay with me._

_Keep your eyes open, sweetie. Come on, stay with me… please…"_

"AUDREY!"

Ressler jolted awake from his nightmare with such force, he threw himself off the bed. Hitting the nightstand on his way down, he let out a gasp of pain before thumping to the floor. He laid there for a while breathing heavily, his head spinning as his eyes tried to focus themselves. He was shaking as he remembered the nightmare that has awoken him. He had been back at the road with Audrey bleeding out in his arms, willing her to stay with him. He has been so tired that he wasn't able to wake and the memory had played over and over until the effects of the medication wore off. His body had started to regain mobility and he's started to thrash around until he'd finally thrown himself to the floor.

There was something trickling down the side of his face and when he touched his fingers to it, he felt the warm, sticky substance that was his blood. "Fuck." He groaned in pain before heaving himself into a sitting position. It felt like the room was spinning. Glancing at his clock, he noticed it was now 16.54. He needed to stem the bleeding from the wound on his head – and fast. He was feeling weak again - blood loss and lack of food (therefore energy) were definitely not a good combination. He needed help – and fast. There was only one person he wanted to help him right now. Reaching to his nightstand he grabbed his phone and dialled her number.

"Liz… it's me... I… I need you."


	5. Chapter 5

It had turned out to be another long, practically uneventful day. Liz had not had a reason to smile since Resslers text at the beginning of the morning and just to give herself something to do, she had offered to put together some profiles for a few of her colleagues and had purposely stretched it out to take all day. It was closing in on five o'clock, a mere hour before she was off duty and she was finishing the last profile. No sooner had she put her pen down, her phone started to ring. Thinking it would be Reddington, she didn't bother looking at the caller id before answering.

"Keen."

"_Liz… it's me… I… I need you._"

Liz froze for a mere second. It was Ressler, and he sounded… off, like he was desperate and in pain. She snapped out of her trance and responded to him.

"Ress, what is it? Are you okay?" It was taking him too long to respond and in no time she was pulling on her jacket.

"_Sorry to bother you it's just… I didn't know who else to call._" His voice was strained slightly, but she didn't know whether that was because he was in some sort of pain or because his pride was being knocked for asking for help.

"You're not bothering me, Don. What's wrong?" She was getting increasingly worried. She grabbed her purse and keys before leaving the office, forgetting to turn off the light as she went. She made her way down the stairs towards Meera and Aram.

"_I… don't… I want to – need to talk… to you… I don't feel so good. Sorry, you're probably still at work, I shouldn't have called. Sorr–"_

She'd reached Arams desk and both he and Meera were now huddled round her. "Don, tell me what happened. Please? Look, Don, I'm going to come round, okay? Are you at home?" She knew full well he was, upon hearing his name, Aram had started to trace Resslers call for her.

"_Yeah, yeah I'm still here, but will you be able to get away? You know what Cooper gets like whe–_"

"Don't you worry about that, I can handle Cooper. Give me… twenty minutes? I think I can get to you in that time."

"_Okay… okay, I'll see you soon. Oh, and Liz? I'll leave the door unlocked, so you can just let yourself in. Bye._"

Ressler had ended the phone call before she could say bye. She was really worried. It was strange, he was talking like he was unsure of himself, unsure of whether he wanted her there. She knew she'd have to go; she needed to, to make sure he was alright because he sure as hell didn't sound it. She dropped her phone in her purse; she looked to the two agents standing in front of her and answered them before they could even ask what was going on.

"He's not good. I don't know what's happened, he didn't say but he sounded tired and like he was trying to mask pain. I need you to cover for me with Cooper, tell him anything but do _not_ mention Ressler; this isn't 'need to know' yet, okay? I'd rather him not know until there's no other choice. I'll text you both with an update later. See you tomorrow."

She was waiting for the elevator before she called back to her colleagues. "Oh, can one of you please tell Agent Morseen that his profiles are on my desk? Thanks." Stepping into the elevator, she jabbed her finger on the button impatiently, willing it to move faster. She was determined to get to Ressler as soon as she could. When the elevator opened at the car park, she all but sprinted to her car, wirelessly unlocking it so she could jump right in. In no time, she was driving, barely keeping to the limit, to her partners' apartment.

* * *

><p>Ressler hung up the phone feeling relieved that Liz was coming. He hated having to ask her to come but he couldn't be alone anymore and he needed his partner to help him. He was shivering slightly in the cool, winter air and when he looked down at himself, he realised why. He was stark naked. He hadn't gotten dressed after his shower and his towel had come off him whilst he'd been sleeping. Thinking Liz would not appreciate walking in on him in his birthday suit, and to save what little dignity he had left, he grabbed a pair of sweats and a vest from the draw and dressed carefully so he didn't jog his head too much. He grabbed the abandoned towel from the bed, folded it a couple of times before holding it to his head to try and stop some of the bleeding.<p>

He knew Liz would keep her word and not be long, so he walked slowly to the front door and unlocked it before he shuffled to the living room and settled on the couch, careful to maintain the pressure he was applying to his wound. He looked round the room and realised it was still in a mess but he didn't have the energy to clean it a little but he knew Liz wouldn't care, he guessed she would be more worried about him than the state of his apartment.

He sat there on his couch thinking over his nightmare; it was the first time since Audrey died that he'd had it, he'd kept himself far too numb and intoxicated to be dreaming of anything. But he hadn't fallen asleep drunk this time. He may have taken some strong painkillers but they hadn't made it impossible to remember, they just knocked him out. Ressler wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there, thinking things over, when he heard the front door open and Liz's soft voice float through his silent apartment.

It had taken Liz little over the twenty minutes she'd told Ressler she'd be. She couldn't get the sound of his voice out her head and she had to slam on the brakes because she'd started to drive right by his building. She reversed into an available parking space, picked up her bag from the passenger side and quickly made her way to Resslers apartment. She was apprehensive, she didn't know what was going on and it worried her. She'd gotten to Resslers door and after taking a deep breath, gripped the handle, turned it and let herself into his apartment.

* * *

><p>"Ressler?" She called softly. "Don, you here?"<p>

"Yeah, Liz, living room."

As she made her way through his apartment, she noticed that some of his things looked out of place but it wasn't until she reached the living room that she let out a silent gasp. It was in a state. What she could only presume were Audreys things were scattered all over the room. Empty beer bottles littered the small coffee table in the centre. But out of everything in this room, the thing that looked most out of place was her partner. Ressler was hunched over on the couch with his back to her. His hair was messy and he was wearing sweats and a vest – something she'd never seen him in before. She moved further into room and as she did, she noticed that he was holding something to his head.

"Ressler, are you okay?" She asked tentatively.

He turned to face her and as he did, he moved the towel from his head, revealing the still bleeding gash.

"Oh my God!" Liz was at his side in a second, taking the towel from him. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Calm down, it's just a scratch." Ressler smiled inwardly at her concern only to scowl openly at her a moment later when she started touching his head. "Oww, Liz, no need to poke at it."

"Sorry, but this is _not_ a scratch. I think you need stitches, and it might be worth getting your hand looked at to. Don't think I've forgotten the state it was in yesterday. Is this why you needed me, Don? What happened?" Liz was sitting beside him but she was the one now holding the towel to his head.

"It's… part of the reason. I wanted to talk; you said I could call you anytime I needed to. My hand is fine, I don't need it looked at, and my head doesn't need stiches, the bleeding just needs to be stopped." He tried to argue but this was Elizabeth Keen he was talking to, and there was no way he would win against her but that didn't stop him trying.

"Don, you need to get yourself checked out, you could have a concussion or fractures or –"

"Liz… I don't want to go to hospital. Can we just… find another way? They'll put it on my medical record and it'll get back to Cooper because it will have to go on my file and I don't want anyone finding out that I can't be alone without injuring myself. Look, I shouldn't have called, I was a little disorientated and –"

"Don't you dare make excuses, Donald. You need to see someone." The use of his full first name startled him; she'd never used it before and she was a lot more intimidating when she did.

"Fine… just… I don't want –"

"Okay… okay, I have an idea. I need to make a phone call, okay? Just keep the pressure to your head in case the bleeding starts again and I'll be back in a minute." She took his hand and placed it against the towel still pressed to his head. She lightly touched his arm before leaving the couch and headed for somewhere out of ear shot to phone the one person she knew that could help her and keep it off the books. The phone rang twice before Dembe picked up.

"Dembe, is he there?" She could hear movement and in the next second Reddington was on the phone.

"_Lizzie, what can I do for you?_"

"I need a doctor."

"_What? What's happened? Are you alright?_" His voice was filled with worry but she couldn't help but smile at his concern.

"Yes, I'm fine. It's not for me, it's for… Ressler."

"_Lizzie, don't do that to me! I thought something had happened. Tell me, what has dear old Donald done now?_"

"I don't know how he did it but he has a gash on his head that needs stitching as soon as but he's refusing to go to hospital to have it done. His hand needs looking at too but it's his head I'm more worried about. He doesn't want it going on record so I thought –"

"_You thought I would know someone that could do a home visit. Well, I do know one woman, brilliant surgeon; she can stitch so precisely she barely leaves a scar. Truly remarkable, she really is one of the best I know. Yes, I think it's she Donald needs to see. I'll give her call, make a deal. I'll text you in two minutes._"

Relief washed over her as she listened to him. She knew he was only willing to help Ressler because she had asked him to, but she was grateful all the same. She thanked him before hanging up the phone and going back to Ressler.

"How you feeling?" She sat herself back by his side and looked directly at him, forcing him to make eye contact with her. "And don't lie to me."

He considered her. He didn't want to lie, but he didn't want to seem weak. He thought about it some more before deciding that she'd end up getting the truth from him anyway.

"Like crap. I have a headache. I feel a little nauseous but hungry so it could be down to that… I haven't actually eaten properly for a while. Who did you phone?"

Liz surveyed Don a little. He had surprised her by being so open about how he was feeling; it was unlike him to be so. In all the time she'd known him, he had always kept tight lipped and mostly withdrawn, afraid to show weakness. Then again, if she'd sustained a head injury like him, she'd be a little dazed and unlike herself to. She was just about to tell him about her phone call to Red when her phone vibrated on the couch, startling them both. She picked it up and read the message for the man in question.

_**Lizzie, Rosa Heredia, an acquaintance and former surgeon will be at Agent Resslers apartment in a matter of minutes, luckily she happened to be in the neighbourhood. She will have everything dear Donald needs but no doubt she shall go over all of this with you herself. I highly value this woman and have used her as a personal physician. Please let me know how Donald is doing. Red.**_

She breathed in deeply. How Red managed to have these people at his beck and call at any given moment astounded her. She slipped her jacket off and placed over the arm of the couch before turning back to Ressler.

"If you won't go to a doctor, a doctor shall come to you; she'll be here soon to look at you." Liz smiled at the confused look on Resslers face. She could tell his was struggling to figure out who she'd called and she felt mean for letting him know. "I phoned Red, told him I needed someone to make a home visit and he obliged."

Ressler scoffed but smiled as he shifted in his seat. "Should have known."

They both turned when there was a sharp knock at the door. Ressler made no attempt to get up to answer it, not that Liz would have let him if he did. She peeked through the keyhole to find a smart dressed woman standing outside. Liz opened the door, gave the woman the once over and noticed the medical bags at her feet. Red was right, by the looks of it, she _did_ have everything Ressler would need.

"Elizabeth Keen I take it? Rosa Heredia, show me to the patient."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: You may have noticed that in previous chapters, I have tried to keep the different sections to follow either Liz or Ressler. In this chapter I kinda got carried away and jumbled it together… **_

_**A/NP2: A big thank you to those who have reviewed, it means a lot. It's nice to know there are people out there who are actually enjoying this story – it makes writing it easier because I know there are people waiting to read what happens next!**_


	6. Chapter 6

Liz stayed standing the doorway, silently but quickly she assessed the woman standing before her. She was a tall woman, taller than her but built in a slim manner like she was. Liz looked down to the medical bags at the womans feet, noticing that there were four of them; two for the shoulder and two cases. Liz was too busy giving the woman a once over to notice that they had been standing there for too long but it wasn't until the womans sharp, slightly accented voice came and startled her that she finally moved.

"Agent Keen, I do not have all day, and you standing there blocking my entrance is just plain wasting my time. I have been sent by Mr Reddington to tend to the medical needs of one Agent Donald Ressler so please, show me to him or I will leave."

"Sorry... I'm sorry. He's through there." Liz pointed behind her before she stepped aside to let the woman through. She didn't like her much but she was here to help Ressler and Liz wasn't going to get in the way of that so she gritted her teeth and smiled before gesturing to the bags on the floor. "Do you need any help with those?"

"No, thank you. I'm perfectly capable of managing them myself." Her tone was harsh and Liz concluded that she definitely did not like this woman. Liz stayed standing to one side as she watched the woman in front of her pick up the four bags and carry them into the apartment, walking through it like she owned the place. She may be one of Reddingtons 'people' but Liz couldn't shake the untrusting feeling she had - not when it came to her partner. Closing the door swiftly, Liz made her way back to Ressler, walking into the living room to find that Rosa had taken her place on the couch and was busy examining Resslers head wound. Liz decided to perch herself on the arm of the couch by Ressler and keep an eye on him.

"It's not relatively deep, you're lucky, it could have been much worse. I say given your current state you have a minor concussion, nothing to worry about though. It may not be deep but I am going to have to stitch the wound so I'll give you a small dose of local anesthetic and let it take effect whilst I see to your hand. How did you do the damage?"

Rosa was busying herself with measuring out the correct dose of anesthetic and Ressler had the time to throw a quick glance at Liz, who was staring down at him, a mixed look of concern and something Ressler couldn't place. He laid his back against the couch for the anesthetic to be administered before answering the question. "I punched a door, hand went right through it. Didn't think it caused much damage but I guess I was wro-"

"You punched a wall to."

Ressler's eyes shot back to Liz, he could see that hers had begun to fill with tears as she remembered his reaction in their office, something that he had momentarily forgotten. He felt so guilty for acting like that in front of her and if he could kick himself he would but the only thing he could do now was look at his partner. "Sorry" he mouthed at her but she just smiled at him and shook her head. Liz lent closer to him slightly and took his uninjured hand and gave it a small squeeze to signal that she understood and he didn't need to apologise. She let it go again and moved back slightly when Rosa turned back to see to Resslers hand.

"Well, a wall and a door will do this. I have a small portable x-ray machine with me so I can see if there's any broken or fractured bones. If you could just lean forward and place your hand on the mat, yes and keep still for me. One, two, three, thank you Agent Ressler, from what I can see you have a minor fracture to a small bone in your hand. It will only take a matter of a few weeks to heal. You won't need a cast but I will provide you with a brace to keep on there to ensure no further damage. I'll just stitch your head wound and then get the brace sorted. If you could lay back again please."

Another reasuring squeeze from Liz alerted Ressler to the fact that she had taken his hand again. It was strangely comforting and not at all weird - like he hand expected it to be. They had come a long way as partners; trusting one another, covering for one another, becoming friends in the process. He was glad that he could count on Liz, he just hoped he could one day repay the favour. They stayed like that the entire time it took for the wound of Resslers head to be sutured.

"All done, Agent Ressler. Now, I'm going to prescribe you with some pain medication, you should only need a few days worth and it will be a fairly low dosage, stronger than over the counter but not as strong as they would administer in a hospital. Now, as I said, you only have a minor concussion but I still want you to take it easy. I don't want you returning to work for at least a week. I understand that the circumstances surrounding this home visit is that you don't want this on record so I will provide you with a simple stamped letter stating that you have a bout of flu. This should cover you but I will return in a week to check how you're healing. Agent Keen, if you could show me out?"

Liz stood and led the way to the door. She was glad the woman was leaving. She may efficient at her job but she still made her a little uneasy. Why she needed Liz to show her out puzzled her, she seemed like the type that could let herself out of an apartment. It was clear, however, when they both stood at the open apartment door (Liz in, Rosa out) that the surgeon was not yet finished with Liz.

"Agent Keen, I think it would be advisable for someone to stay with Agent Ressler for the night. It will take an hour or two for the anesthetic to wear off and he needs to eat something substantial before taking the medication. If you can't stay here, find someone who can. Oh, and the brace he has on should be taken off before bathing or showering, it's not the kind you can get wet. Goodbye."

Liz glared into the back of the retreating womans head. Yeah, she definitely didn't like her.

* * *

><p>Rosa Heredia had loaded her medical bags back into the trunk of her and was now sitting behind the wheel with her phone in her hand. She searched through her contacts before locating the one she needed and pressed the dial button. It only took a few rings before the phone was answered with silence.<p>

"It's Rosa, is he there?" She heard some muffled movement before the phone was handed over.

"_Rosa, my dear! How are things?_"

"It's done. I have attended to Agent Ressler as you wished. Again, as you wished, I have told Agent Keen that someone should stay with him, not that I needed you to instruct that - the man has a concussion. I'll be seeing him again next week. Is there anything else you need?"

"_No, no, you wonderful woman, you have done enough. I thank you for all you've done today. I have already had my accountant deposit payment to you, and as an added bonus, I will make another deposit next week. May I ask, how were they both?_"

"He was a little disorientated, as to be expected with a concussion. She didn't trust me, but I'm guessing that's because of you."

"_Typical Lizzie. How did they seem with each other?_"

Rosa sighed. "They exchanged glances, more than what was deemed necessary. She took his hand twice and neither time he pulled away. I would say that there are some unidentified, underlying feelings between them that neither want to admit. Mr Reddington, I do have a day job to get back to."

"_Yes, yes, of course! Rosa my dear I shall see you soon, we'll have dinner. Goodbye!_" Her phone went dead when Reddington ended the call. Rosa couldn't help but briefly think that Reddington was somehow going to use this information against the two agents at a later date. She shook her head slightly before she started up her car and left, her mind no longer on Liz and Ressler.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: I know this chapter is far shorter than normal - sorry! The next chapter with be around the same length if not longer and i felt it would be too long to keep it as one as I originally intended! Either way, I hope you guys enjoy it, chapter 7 should be up tonight, tomorrow or Sunday!**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**So sorry for the wait! Writer's block is one hell of a bitch! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter - please review!**_

* * *

><p>Liz closed the door and lent her head against it, processing Rosa's words to her. She knew it had been an immense struggle for Ressler to ask her for help, so the possibility of letting someone else in to 'their little secret' was out of the question. The realisation that it would be her that would have to stay the night hit her but she didn't find it at all daunting, rather she felt relief, relief for not having to go home to her lying husband; a man she no longer loved or trusted. She couldn't help but smile a little at the thought of spending some time with Ressler out of the office, she just wished it could be under better circumstances. Maybe in the future they could spend time together again...<p>

Liz pushed herself away from the door and headed back to where she left Ressler in his living room, only to stop and stand in his doorway to secretly observe him. He was in exactly the same position as the one she had left him in a few minutes ago only now his eyes were closed. She wasn't entirely sure if he was asleep but that didn't stop her from staring openly at him, taking in his features; the shape of his bare arms, the way that his exposed skin was considerably lighter here compared to his face and neck (presumably where he didn't let them see much sun). She realised quickly that she had never seen him this under-dressed. His time posing as the Courier and the day in the forest were the only two exceptions she could think of that she hadn't seen him in a suit but he had still been wearing slightly more than he was now. She was so lost in thought staring at her partners physique to notice that he had started smiling slightly at her.

"You know, Liz, staring is considered creepy."

Liz jumped a little as his voice cut through the silence of the apartment. His eyes still weren't open and she couldn't help but let out a small laugh at his sixth sense; at least the agent in him was still there, untouched by the recent head trauma.

"And you know, feigning sleep whilst you have company is considered anti-social, but I won't hold it against you. How's your head?"

She was still chuckling slightly to herself as he opened his eyes and looked directly at her. He still had a faint smile as he started to shuffle himself in to a better position on the couch, only for him to grimace a moment later as he lent on his braced hand.

"Maybe I should ask you how's your hand, seeing as you're having more trouble with that than you're head. Let me help you?" It was a more of a question than a command, because Liz wanted him to feel as though he still had control over himself and that she was merely there for support, not as a babysitter. He nodded to her and she moved over to him to take some of his weight so he could sit straighter against the couch.

"Thanks, I didn't think I'd feel so we- _tired_. And as for my head, it's starting to pound a little. How long till I can take some meds?" He was looking at her almost pleadingly and Liz felt her heart break a little for him. She knew the pain must be worse than he was letting on and that he didn't want her to think of him as weak. She sat down next to him and checked her watch, noting that he still had about three quarters of an hour left before Rosa said it would be okay to take them.

"Forty-five minutes, give or take a few, but you have to eat first. How about I order us something? By the time it gets here and you've eaten enough to line your stomach, it'll be time to take them. Then you can sleep okay, you look exhausted."

"Jeez, thanks Keen, do I really look that bad?" He turned his had to look at her a smiled softly, knowing she only said it because it was true, and to be honest, he felt nothing less. "Food sounds good, I'm starving. There's a few take-out menus in the draw by the door, you choose, you know I eat pretty much everything." She touched his arm lightly again before walking back out of the room to grab a few menus. Deciding on pizza, she used her cell and ordered for the both of them before glancing back into the living room and checking on Ressler only to find him with eyes closed once again. Sighing quietly to herself, she wondered into the kitchen to get them both a drink. She knew that Ressler shouldn't drink anymore alcohol if he wanted to make it to tomorrow and no matter how much she wanted to throw back a good few shots of scotch, she wasn't going to do it in front of her partner. Instead, she pulled two bottles of water from the refrigerator and took them in to the living room.

Hearing her walk back in the room, Ressler reopened his eyes and stared openly at his partner. He watched her as she came towards him and he couldn't help but smile inwardly at her presence. They really had come a long way since her first day at the Post Office.

"Here, I brought you this, you need to keep your fluids up to avoid becoming dehydrated." She held the bottle out to him and waited for him to take it before sitting down next to him once again.

"Thanks, Keen." Liz watched as he drank thirstily from the bottle, almost as if he hadn't had a drink for days. They had a good half an hour before their food was due to arrive and it seemed as good a time as any to talk about what had happened over the last few days. There was a very high chance he'd refuse but she had to try, she wanted to help him through this as best she could, but to do that she needed to know what was going on.

"Ress... Don, we have some time before dinner arrives and I think we should talk. I'm not going to push you into talking if you don't want to, you know I wouldn't do that to you, but I really think it would help if you did. We can take it as slow as you want to... I want to help you, Don, and I will, but I need to know what's going on... Please?" She looked at him, trying to convey that she was serious in what she was saying. In return he looked back to her with tear filled eyes. He considered telling her he wasn't ready to discuss everything but he thought better of it. Maybe talking it out would help, if it got too much for him he could always stop...

Taking a deep breath, he looked down at the floor and started. "I haven't exactly handled Audrey... dying... very well, anyone can see that but like always, I've tried to bottle everything up and carry on as usual. The truth is Liz, every time I close my eyes, I see her. She's there in my arms, covered in blood, dying and there's nothing I can do. I blame myself Liz. It's all my fault. If I didn't have this job and if I hadn't of wanted her back so much she would still be safe. Tanida came after me, me, not Audrey, yet I dragged her into this and she paid the price for my mistake. The night she died, I relived it in a nightmare and the only way to stop them is to drink myself into oblivion." Ressler paused and looked briefly at her before returning his gaze to the floor. She saw the hurt, anger, shame, embarrassment and guilt all etched in the lines of his face. He had tears rolling down his cheeks and she felt her own spring to her eyes. Liz wanted to pull him into a hug and tell him it was all alright, that it wasn't his fault but that wouldn't do anything for him now.

"I don't want to be in this apartment. Everything thing reminds me of her and all her stuff is here. I hadn't told anyone but we were in the process of moving back in together. That's why I kept coming back to the office, it's... hard being here. The other day... when you first told me that I needed to be here, I listened but it was so difficult... In the end I felt worse than what I did and I blamed you Liz... but it was in no way your fault and I can't tell you how sorry I am for the way I was to you... I didn't mean what I said."

"Don't apologise, there's no need for you to, I understand. I'm glad you called me. I'm... glad you feel you can trust me enough to let me in. We're partners Ress, I'll always have your back. If you still feel alright to carry on, I... want to know what happened to your head. And, I want to know if you managed to call Audreys parents? When you texted earlier you said you were going to..." She looked away from him, not wanting to seem as though she was pushing him. A few more tears fell as he continued with his explanation.

"I'm good, I'm good, thanks Liz. Well... I, uh, woke up, hungover with my head pounding, so I took something for it, had a shower and found your note by the door... I had no idea you came by, I was out of it. Anyway, I read the note then found the text and replied. I really thought about what you said and I realised that being close to her family and maybe grieving together would be a good thing but..." his voice hitched in his throat as he tried to stifle the rising sobs. "Audrey's dad, he ... he ... blamed me to, and he has every right to. I got his little girl killed. I barely got a word in before he told me that I ... that I... missed ... her... fu-funeral!" He broke into full blown sobs, head in his hands and body shaking.

Liz was nothing short of shocked. She knew Ressler had been really struggling since the moment Audrey died in his arms, but she never would have imagined he would be so ... out of it that he would miss her funeral.

"Oh, Don." Without hesitating, Liz closed the gap between them and pulled him close to her. She wrapped her arms around him and he let his head rest against her shoulder as the tears came thick and fast.

Liz sat there silently and supported her partner as he broke down in her arms. Donald Ressler, the cool, calm and collected F.B.I agent who always played by the rules was now nothing short of a broken man. Liz didn't say a word to Ressler as he cried it out; she just held him. Liz couldn't help but note that the last, and only, time they had physically been this close was after he'd rescued her from the Stewmaker's cabin. Their roles had been reversed and he had been somewhat reluctant to comfort her but nevertheless, he had let her lean on him and sob to the point he picked her up and took her to the ambulance in his arms.

It took a full ten minutes before Liz felt Ressler stop shaking under her embrace. They stayed there, not moving and Ressler started talking again.

"God, Liz, I missed my girlfriends funeral because I was too busy getting pissed. I should of waited to make that call; the pain meds had started to make me drowsy and I ended up back in bed. It was the first time in a week that I hadn't had an alcohol infused sleep, the nightmares were back and in an attempt to wake myself up, I ended up throwing myself off the bed, and my head caught the nightstand on the way down. I'm a mess and I don't know how I'm going to cope -"

He was cut off by a loud knock at the door. Liz unwrapped her arms from his shoulders to give him room to move away. Glancing at him before getting up, she saw him trying desperately to wipe the tears and their tracks from his face. She took her time collecting their dinner from the delivery guy, giving Ressler enough time to pull himself together a little.

Carrying the pizza boxes, Liz walked cautiously back in the living room only to find her partner had disappeared. She took the time to give the room a detailed once over. Ressler was right when he said Audreys things were everywhere; clothes spilling from a suitcase, books that only a woman would read, candles and other personalised items littered here and there. She couldn't imagine the true extent of the pain Ressler was going through. She heard the flush of the toilet and the sounds of her partner stumbling back into the room. Liz suspected that he'd really gone to splash water on his face in attempt to dull down the puffiness from crying.

"Sorry, needed the bathroom. You didn't need to wait for me to start you know." He gave Liz something resembling a half smile.

"I wasn't waiting, just taking my time with starting." She grabbed a steaming slice of the pepperoni pizza and settled back onto the couch. "Mmm, this is good. I may come round more often, your neighbourhood had better take-outs than mine."

She caught him nodding slightly out the corner of her eye but he didn't say anything. Twenty minutes and six slices of pizza each later, Liz discovered that it was time for Ressler to take a dose of his medication.

"How's your head doing?"

"Painful, but nothing compared to earlier. 'Spose I can take some pills now I've eaten right?"

"Yeah, you can, let me get them and some more water."

She left him sitting there again as she took the left over pizza to the kitchen before grabbing another bottle from the refrigerator and the pills from the counter. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket as she walked back over to her waiting partner. She sighed before placing the phone back in her pocket, letting it ring off.

"Tom?"

Looking into her partners eyes as she handed over his meds and watched him take them, she nodded. "Yeah, but I'll call him back later." Ressler shook his head at her.

"You should get going, thanks for everything Keen but you have a husband to get back to. I don't want to be the one to keep you from him." Ressler finished gulping down his water before getting unsteadily to his feet. "I should go lay down anyway, need my, uh, beauty sleep." He did his best to give her one of his signature half smiles, which she returned.

"Yeah, um, I guess I forgot to mention, Rosa said it was advisable for someone to stay the night because of your concussion. I know how hard it must have been for you to let me in and I know you don't want anybody else seeing you like... this, so, I'm staying for the night.

"Liz, there's -"

"Stop right there, I'm acting on orders from a medical professional, how can I argue with that?" She smiled warningly at him and he knew not to question it; Elizabeth Keen was one stubborn woman.

Ressler sighed and rubbed his forehead lightly with his good hand. The meds were already starting to kick in, the pain was fading and he was becoming increasingly drowsy. "Fine, I can take the couch."

"Oh, no, _I'll_ take the couch, you need proper rest, and only one's own bed can achieve that. I'll be fine out here. There's no point in discussing this further, you look like you're about to drop."

He nodded curtly before stumbling into his bedroom and flopping down down the bed, not bothering to pull back the duvet first. The pain medication had kicked in with full force now and Ressler was muttering into his pillow. Liz stood in the doorway watching and listening, catching random words. She caught her own name a fair few times but once she saw Ressler start to shiver in the late night coolness, she went over to try and move him enough to pull the blankets over him.

"Ressler, come on, you'll catch a cold if you don't cover up." She managed to free the blankets from under his weight and just as she began to pull them over him, he spoke to her.

"Liz... there's some...thing I didn't tell you... I need to say..."

"Okay? Ress? What do you need to say?" She shook his shoulder lightly.

"It hurts... Liz, even more now... knowing..."

"Knowing? Knowing what, Ress?"

"That... that I lost... lost... them both..."

Confused, Liz bent closer to Ressler and put her hands either side of his face and forced him to look at her. "Who, Don? Who did you lose?"

He kept his eyes open long enough to stare at Liz and utter four final words before falling into a deep slumber.

"Audrey... and the baby..."


	8. Chapter 8

Liz couldn't move. She was still processing Ressler's final confession of the night. '_Audrey... and the baby_...' repeated through her head like a broken record stuck on the same verse. Audrey had been pregnant! She had been pregnant with Resslers child when she was shot and killed in front of him. She felt sick. It was cruel, so so cruel, and so soon after rekindling. It took Liz a minute to realise she still had her hands cupping Ressler's face. Snatching them away, she quickly pulled the blankets up to cover her partners shoulders before creeping out of the room. It was as she went to partially close the door that she noticed the fist sized hole. She examined the splintered wood, tracing the outlines gently with her fingers. There must of been a lot of force behind the punch to cause that much damage.

Liz wondered back to the living room, her thoughts consumed by her partners revelations. How long had he known about the baby? Had Audrey told him herself or had he learned of the pregnancy after his girlfriends death? She thought back to his actions in the forest the previous week; nothing in his behaviour had indicated that he'd known of the baby's existence. His demeanor at the Post Office two days ago was the same but the more she thought about it, the more she realised how big the change in Ressler was when he came in the day after. She remembered thinking that there was something different but couldn't work out what. It wasn't until she went over what Ressler had told her tonight that she realised he must of found out the day she had convinced him to go home. He had told her yesterday that going home had been the worst think he had done, was this why? Liz couldn't help but feel a little guilty for pushing him to go home, she should have trusted him when he said it was too hard for him to be surrounded by Audreys things. She should have kept her nose out of his business. Liz now understood why Ressler had blamed her, and she didn't disagree.

She checked her watch and was shocked to find it was nearing ten in the evening. Where had the time gone? She remembered that she had promised to keep Meera and Aram informed on how Ressler was doing and feeling a little tired, she decided to just send them both a text.

Hey, sorry it's late. Ressler's fine, he just wanted to talk. I guess I just overreacted and thought something was really wrong. See you at work.

Tagging them both to receive the same message, Liz sent the text and no sooner had she placed her phone on the couch beside her, it started vibrating, alerting her to an incoming call. She looked down at the flashing screen, knowing before seeing his name that it would be Tom. Sighing, she grabbed the phone and answered his call.

"Hey babe, sorry I missed your -"

"_Liz, where the hell are you? I've been waiting for hours and dinners cold. We promised each other that we would sit down and talk_."

"Tom, I'm on a protective detail and I can't get away right now. I don't even think I'll be home until tomorrow night. I know I said we'd talk, but -"

"_No, no, Liz, you're putting the job before us again. This is exactly why we need to talk_."

Liz didn't feel she had it in her to fight with him at that precise moment in time, but there was something she needed to get off her chest. "And we will talk, just not tonight. But for the record, we could've talked last night but you decided not to come home." She hadn't wanted to talk about things the previous night and had been relieved when he wasn't home, but he didn't need to know that.

"_Seriously Liz? I take ONE night to myself and spend it out with friends and suddenly I'm the bad guy? At least when I don't come home, I have the decency to tell you. Whenever you don't come home I have to wait, wonder and worry before I get a call, that's if I get a call at all_." His voice was raised now and she could tell his anger was building. Tom didn't get angry often, but it seemed to be a regular occurrence ever since her first day at the blacksite.

"Tom, I'm sorry. I know it's frustrating, but you have to understand that I can't always get to or have my phone all the time. That's the thing with being a field agent, and late nights and all nighters are part of the job description, it's what I signed up for." She leaned back against the couch and took a few deep breaths. She needed a good, stiff drink after this.

"_But that's just it, Liz, it's not what you signed up for_." His voice was evening out now and it was clear he was calming down. Maybe, like her, he was finally growing tired of the same repeated arguments.

"What do you mean?"

"_You're supposed to be a profiler, working interrogations and reading files. You were never signed up to be a field agent. When did that plan change?_"

'_When Reddington refused to speak to anyone but me_,' she replied in her head, but couldn't voice that to Tom. "I don't know."

"_Well you need to figure it out, Liz, because ever since those agents turned up and took you from our front door, I've felt like I'm losing my wife_."

Liz froze for a second at Tom's revelation. '_Maybe you are_' she thought before verbally responding. "Look, Tom, I can't do this right now, I have to get back to work. I'll see you tomorrow." With that she hung up and tossed her phone back on the couch next to her. She had lied to her husband, out right lied. But had she? Had she really lied, or had just just bent the truth? Liz thought about it some more before coming to the conclusion that she hadn't exactly lied, she had just altered the truth. She may not be on a protection detail but she was there keeping an eye on Ressler for the night. She reasoned with herself that looking after Ressler, her partner, technically fell in the work related category. Yes, she hadn't exactly lied to her husband and she felt a little better about it now.

She took a deep breath and sighed. Glancing around the room again, Liz decided to help Ressler out a little by cleaning his apartment up a bit for him. She thought that it might make being in the apartment easier if there were fewer of Audreys things visible, not that she understood just how hard it was for him; the place being tidied a little would be one less thing he would have to worry about. It took her a few minutes but once she had located the garbage bags in one of the kitchen draws, she started on the vast amount of trash littered in the living room; bagging the collection of empty cans, beer bottles and take-out boxes. By the time she had finished the first phase of clean-up, she had nearly three full bags to take to the garbage shoot. Ressler was right, he _had_ been drinking a lot. Picking the small suitcase off the floor, she started to carefully repack Audrey's clothes back in to it. Twenty minutes it took Liz to fill the suitcase, all the while saddened by the reason why she was there. Liz decided not to pack the things that already had their place in the living room, it would be wrong of her if she did. Liz stood straight when she had finished before stretching the late night ache from her bones. She picked the now closed suitcase off the coffee table and went to move it over to the corner, stopping dead when she spotted something that she'd missed by the wall.

She knew exactly what it was before she bent down to retrieve it; Liz had become very familiar with pregnancy tests during her teenage years. She couldn't throw it away, it wasn't her place to. so she slipped it in the front pocket of the suitcase. She sighed sadly and walked away from the corner.

Liz turned her attention to the kitchen. Most of the counter space was taken by dirty dishes and leftover food and she was silently pleased to discover that her partner owned a dishwasher. The build up of dishes was too much for the dishwasher and Liz found herself washing the rest by hand. It gave her time to think, and think she did. Thoughts of Tom consumed her. Since finding that box under the floor boards, things hadn't been the same. Even after he'd been cleared by the bureau, it was difficult to trust him. There was no doubt in her mind that he wasn't all he seemed, she just couldn't prove it. Liz realised as she put the last of the plates on the drainer that she'd been more domestic in Resslers home than she had in her own. Sure, she did the odd bit of cleaning but with her long hours and always being on call, Tom picked up most of the slack. Liz couldn't help but smile momentarily at the freedom and peace she had for a few hours. She pushed Tom out of her mind and focused on other things.

She dried her hands and checked her watch, finding it to be past one in the morning. Cleaning the kitchen had taken far longer than she thought. She looked in on Ressler, gently shaking him to see i he responded, he did, throwing random mumblings her way that she could only smile to. She had two more little jobs to do before calling it a night - putting away the leftover pizza and taking out the trash. Ten minutes later she was trying to make herself comfortable on the couch when she had a sudden thought. What if Ressler needed the pain meds while she was asleep? Sure, he could wake her, but she knew he wouldn't. She pulled out her notebook from her bag, scribbled down a note for him before grabbing the pills and another bottle water and taking them to his room. Setting them down on the nightstand, she checked him over once more before returning to the living room, settling back down and drifting in to an exhausted sleep.

Ressler woke with a pressing need to pee. He stumbled out of his bedroom and down the hall to the bathroom, used it, then stumbled back. The headache that he had had earlier had returned and just as he turned to go on the hunt for his meds, he spotted them, along with water, on his nightstand. '_Liz must of put them there_' he thought to himself with a small smile. She'd left him a not, probably instructions he didn't think he'd need.

_Here's your next dose, only take if you wake after 3am! If not, I'll try and wake you before I leave for work. Just remember if you need me, I'm outside. L._

"You really do think of everything, don't you Liz?" he whispered in to the night, but not without another small smile. Liz had been much more than his partner tonight - she had been his friend, someone he could lean on. He just only hoped that he could one day repay the favour. He checked the clock, it was just gone four now, so he popped two pills and a mouthful of water. Closing his eyes for a minute, he wondered if Liz was alright on the couch. Walking steadily and as quietly as he could, Ressler creeped to the living room to check on his partner. It took a few minutes for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but when they did, he was met be something he didn't expect. He found that his partner had been very busy since he'd been in bed. She'd not only taken care of him, she'd taken care of his apartment to. Audrey's things had been moved but he could see her case in the corner. It seemed as though a weight had been lifted by not her things in full view.

Liz was laying on her side facing the back of the couch, her jacket draped over he legs. Ressler shivered slightly in the cool air and figured she couldn't be all that warm. As quick as he could, he grabbed one of the blankets from his bed and placed it over Liz, making sure she was covered.

"You have no idea how much I appreciate what you've done for me, Liz." he whispered to the sleeping figure of his partner before returning to his bed.

The alarm on Liz's phone went off at half six and roused her from the deep sleep she'd been in. Rolling over and forgetting where she was, Liz almost fell head first off the couch. Catching herself in time, she maneuvered her legs, with some difficulty, to take her weight and managed to get in a standing position. Looking down, she found why it had been so hard to move; a blanket she didn't remember having, and her jacket, had gotten tangled around her as she slept. Ressler must have woken in the night and covered her with it. Smiling lightly, she made her way to use to the bathroom then looked in on Ressler. He was laying on his stomach, breathing deeply but was mumbling again. Liz left him sleeping and in desperate need of her morning coffee, she wondered to the kitchen and put a pot of the stuff on. No sooner had the coffee brewed, the startling sounds of her partner shouting out. Releasing the handle of the coffee pot, Liz ran to Resslers room and found him thrashing around in the middle of a nightmare.

"No... NO! Audrey, stay with me, sweetie. NO!"

Liz shook him roughly to try and wake him but to no avail. In the end, it took her shouting over him to pull him from his nightmare.

"Ressler! Don, wake up, you need to wake up. RESSLER!"

His eyes shot open, wide with fear. He was drenched in sweat and breathing heavy and unsteady breaths. He pushed himself in to a sitting position, pulling his knees up to rest his head on. Liz sat cross legged on the bed in front on and waited for him to talk. She waited five minutes before he was ready.

"I was back there." His voice was shaky as he spoke. "I was back in the middle of the road and she was bleeding from her... her stomach..." Liz didn't want to admit that he'd already told her about the baby, she needed him to talk about it, and it was heading that way. Hopefully he would start to grieve properly once he talked about it. "I didn't know... until a few days ago, that she'd been pregnant. I lost two people that day Liz. This is... the real reason I was so harsh to you; I found out the day you convinced me to go home. It was just so hard and I..." He trailed off and Liz didn't push him further.

"It's okay, Ress. Look, there's coffer in the pot, do you want one?" He nodded and she left him sitting there to go and pour them both a cup. He joined her after a few minutes and they drank their drinks in silence. After a few more minutes of silence, Liz finally spoke.

"So, how's your head this morning?"

Ressle considered the question. There was a faint throbbing around the stitched patch, but he was otherwise okay.

"It's fine. Uh, thanks for leaving the pills out."

Liz smiled at him. "No problem, thought you might need something if you woke in pain." She suddenly remembered something. "Hey! Thanks for the blanket."

Ressler nodded to her but stayed silent. He looked around the room. Audreys books were still in their place, as were her ornaments and the scented candles she loved so much. Liz had only moved the things he'd flung all over the room. But it wasn't just Audreys things she'd dealt with, she'd actually cleaned his apartment. The floor was clear and there wasn't a bottle or crushed can in sight. Liz noticed him staring around and decided to speak.

"I thought if you didn't have to worry about cleaning, some pressure would be lifted. I did the kitchen to and the pizza from last night is in the fridge if you're hungry." She paused for a moment before continuing. "You can tell me if I was out of line, but, I thought if I put Audreys things back in her case, you could go through it when you're ready. I think that maybe when you do, you should send some of it back to her parent..."

Ressler continued to say silent but nodded, he'd think about it. Liz checked the time, if she left now, she'd have enough time to clean up and change clothes at work before she was die in for the morning debrief.

"I should go. I need to take a shower and change. Speaking of showers," she pointed to his wrist. "You can't get that wet, it needs to be taken off before you shower." She went to reach for her jacket but Ressler beat her to it. He held it open for her and she stepped in to it. "Thanks."

"Liz..." He didn't know how to word what he wanted to say, there was so much he needed to thank her for. She had turned to face him now and he pulled her in to a tight hug and whispered in her ear. "Thank you."

Liz hugged him tight back. "Call me if you need to okay? And I'm not leaving until you promise."

"I promise, Keen." He gave her his signature half smile as they walked to the door.

"I'll speak to you later. Take care, Don."

"Bye, Liz."

She closed the door behind her, not entirely convinced that he'd be alright but she trusted that he'd call if he needed her. Liz reached her car, started it and turned the heat up. She took one last look at Resslers building before starting the journey to the Post Office.

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><p><strong><em>AN: Thank you for you kind reviews, I really appreciate it :) Just a little warning - the next chapter will a week or two time jump :)_**


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